


monkey see, monkey do

by lazyfish



Series: Genuary 2021 [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Fitz Wants A Monkey, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:09:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28504251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazyfish/pseuds/lazyfish
Summary: Fitz and Elena want a base mascot - but first they have to convince Mack.
Relationships: Leo Fitz & Yo Yo Rodriguez
Series: Genuary 2021 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2087955
Comments: 16
Kudos: 26





	monkey see, monkey do

“You know a monkey isn’t realistic, yeah?” Elena asked, dropping her pen onto the table.

“Of course,” Fitz snorted. “I’m not delusional.” As much as he would love to have a pet monkey, there were too many laws about keeping exotic animals as pets, and Fitz knew that Mack wouldn’t be pleased to have to jump through even more bureaucratic hoops. Having bureaucracy as a full-time job was more than enough.

“Then why do you want to ask for a monkey?!”

“Because if we start by asking for a monkey, he’ll negotiate us down to a dog, maybe a cat. If we start by asking for a dog, he’ll negotiate us down to - to -” Fitz said, searching for an accurate word.

“A turtle?” Elena suggested.

“Exactly!” Fitz threw his hands in the air. “A turtle mascot isn’t any fun!”

“We already have a turtle mascot,” Elena said drily. “It’s Mack.”

“See? And he’d use that as an excuse to get us no mascot at all.”

Elena picked up her pen again, rolling it lazily between her fingers as she considered Fitz’s point. “You’re right,” she sighed. “I need lessons from you on Mack psychology.”

“It’s not hard,” Fitz said, teasing smile on his face. “Just be boring.”

“You don’t actually think Mack’s boring,” Elena said, giving him an over-exaggerated role of her eyes and mocking smile. Fitz inclined his head towards her in agreement. If he found Mack boring he wouldn’t spend so much time with him, or call him one of his best friends.

“He’s sensible,” Fitz amended. Which was more than he could say of most of the people on their team. They tried hard, they really did, but they were all prone to flights of fancy. Mack, on the other hand, was rock-solid. Sensible, like Fitz had said.

Too sensible to want a monkey, he thought with a sigh.

“So we should have a plan to combat all of his _sensible_ talking points,” Elena said, grinning. “Who’s going to feed the unknown mascot? Or take it for walks?”

“I bet we could set up a rotating schedule with some of the other agents,” Fitz suggested. “Jemma would love that. She’s all about organizing.”

“What about the costs?” Elena prompted.

“I’m sure there’s been studies about efficacy of emotional support animals in raising morale. I can look for a few in the journals Jemma and I are subscribed to,” Fitz said. 

Elena scribbled down a few notes.

“Do you think an emotional appeal would work?” Fitz asked.

Elena cocked her head at him in askance.

“You know, the three main parts of an argument are logos, ethos, and pathos. We’ve got plenty of logos once we have the schedule figured out and a justification for the costs. But we either need an emotional appeal or something to make one of us seem like experts on the subject, and unless there’s something you’re not telling me about your time in Colombia…” Elena was a bit of a mystery to Fitz. He knew her, of course, but she wasn’t too open about her childhood. He understood, honestly, given his own childhood and how little he shared about it. There were some things too painful to talk about, even with friends.

“I’m his girlfriend, shouldn’t that count?”

Fitz shrugged. “Depends on who you ask.”

“We could print out a picture of a starving puppy,” Elena suggested.

Fitz clapped his hands together. “Perfect!”

They were going to get him his monkey - er, dog.


End file.
